TORMENTED RECOVERY
by MirskianQueen
Summary: A year ago Anakin was taken by Dooku in an attempt to turn him to the darkside; now he finally escapes. But he isn't same. He is withdrawn and frightened; his memory of the last year fragmented. Obi-wan and Padme try to help him; but are they too late?
1. Chapter 1

**_TORMENTED RECOVERY._**

**_A year ago Anakin was taken by Dooku while he was resuing Chancellor Palpatine, in an attempt to turn him to the darkside; now he finally escapes. But the Anakin who returns isn't same Anakin who was taken. He is frightened, withdrawn; his memory of the last year fragmented, his spirit and soul shattered. _**

**_Obi-wan and Padme join forces to help Anakin rediscover the man he used to be; but sometimes things that are broken, cannot be fixed. _**

**_PROLOGUE._**

Anakin's head lifted as the door to his cell opened; he no longer knew how long he had been in the cell, no longer remembered how long his torture and suffering had gone on. All he knew was the pain, the agony that seemed to have no end.

"It would all be so much easier if you just gave in," Count Dooku's voice was the only indication of what was to come. Moments later, white-blue lightning shot from his fingetips.

Anakin screamed, his body convulsing as wave upon wave of agony struck him; he writhed and howled, his tortured screams echoing off the walls of the cell.

"This wil all end if you give in." He could barely hear Dooku's voice through the pain, could barely grasp the meaning of the words. "Give into your anger and your hate..."

The pain faded and Anakin lifted his head again, "... No ..." His voice was hoarse, his breath coming in shaking, shuddering gasps; with grim determination he pushed himself to his feet, ignoring the agony his every movement brought. "... I ... Will never ... join you ..."

Dooku shrugged, "as you wish." The lightning came at him again, sturging towards him with ferocious force; Anakin raised a hand in defense, a seemingly futile guesture...

The lightning never hit him, it curled away from his outstretched hand, back towards Dooku; the shock sent Dooku staggering back as the streams of lightning hit. Anakin didn't hesitate, he ran; pusing passsed Dooku and out into the narrow hall.

He was not recaptured. In fact, he made it to the hanger bay unhindered; he chose the nearest ship, staggering on board unsteadily. He was at the controls before Dooku arrived, the ship responded instantly and he sped out of the hanger and into open space.

xxxxxx

**_Coruscant._**

The ship crashlanded, sneding sparks flying in every direction.

inside the ship, Anakin was thrown free out of the pilot's seat and flung hard against the side of the ship, he heard a sickening crunching crack followed by agonising pain blazing from his left side.

He lay unmoving as a frantic scene errupted outside the crumpled remains of the ship; he didn't notice when he was dragged free of the wreckage, didn't notice the frenzied voices around him, didn't notice when the robed Jedi arrived at the scene; he drifted soundlessly into a void of darkness.

xxx

His face was gaunt, his body skeletal thin, his hair hung limply trailing down past the middle of his back, but it was his eyes that held Obi-wan's attention; eyes that were sunken deep into their sockets, eyes that were devoid of life. He couldn't believe that this was Anakin, not his reckless, wild, defiant, rebelious former Padawan and friend.

No, this man wasn,'t 'Anakin'; he sat on the floor pressed into the far corner of the room in the Temple of Healing, his arms wrapped tightly around himself. He had been there a full week. His injuries from the crash weren't severe and his body was otherwise unmarked, aside from the obvious signs of starvation, he had not been terribly harmed.

And yet the man cowering in the room was terribly, horribly, traumatised.

"What happened to him?" Padme's voice was a shocked whisper, as she stared at Anakin through the open doorway.

Obi-wan shook his head, he didn't know, couldn't know; It was a question only Anakin could answer. "I don't know," closing his eyes Obi-wan shook his head. Anakin had been in a healing trance for only two days, when he had been brought out of it, Obi-wan had gone in to see him; Anakin had instantly started screaming, had leapt from the bed and all but thrown himself into the corner.

He hadn't moved since.

"We have to help him," Padme held Luke and Leia on her hips; the children had been born almost eleven months ago, it was then that Padme had revealed her and Anakin's marriage, and the babies' parentage to the jedi Council.

Obi-wan sighed and nodded, "I know. But he won't let anyone in," the moment anyone entered the room, he became extremely distressed.

Biting her lip, Padme frowned. "Let me try," beofre Obi-wan could say anything to disuade her, Padme pushed Luke and Leia into his arms and walked slowly inside.

"Ani?" She kept her voice soft, soothingly gentle as she aproached. His head snapped up, his breath quickening with fear; he hadn't started screaming though, that was a hopeful sign. Smiling Padme walked closer, "it's alright Ani, you're safe now." She was only a few feet away now, one step closer, then another until she was right in front of him.

Crouching low, Padme reached out tentatively, "Ani? Please, can you answer me?" Anakin cringed, trying to pull away from her touch; Padme followed him, keeping her hand against his cheek. She felt her hand shake as she gently stroked back his hair, "I won't hurt you." She dropped to her knees and took his hands into her own, "I love you Ani."

His body stiffened for a second, then he stared at her, his eyes boring deep into hers; he blinked, once, twice, then he licked his lips. "P-Padme?" It was the first word he had spoken; it was spoken with such increduality and wonder that Padme felt her eyes gather with tears.

"Anakin," she leant against him, refusing to be pushed away as he jerked back from her. "Don't shut me out. Let me help you." she rested her head against his chest. "Hold me, like you did by the lake on Naboo, so long ago when there was nothing but our love..." She felt his arms slowly move, shaking tremulously as he drew her closer against his chest; his head lowered to rest against the top of hers, and Padme felt her heart break as she heard him start to cry.


	2. Chapter 2

**_TORMENTED RECOVERY._**

**_A year ago Anakin was taken by Dooku while he was rescuing Chancellor Palpatine, in an attempt to turn him to the darkside; now he finally escapes. But the Anakin who returns isn't same Anakin who was taken. He is frightened, withdrawn; his memory of the last year fragmented, his spirit and soul shattered. _**

**_Obi-wan and Padme join forces to help Anakin rediscover the man he used to be; but sometimes things that are broken, cannot be fixed. _**

**_CHAPTER ONE._**

Anakin felt Padme pull gently away from him,"no!" He tightened his arms around her and shook his head. "Don't go..." her presence was soothing, as it always had been; he needed her_

"It's ok Ani," a hand stroked his cheek, "I won't leave the room."

He struggled to keep hold of her hands as she stood, his breath shaking with fear, "there's a couple of people you need to meet." She walked away from him and Anakin buried his head between his knees, the fear returning to torment him.

"Anakin?" He lifted his head and blinked, in Padme's arms were two babies about a year old. Padme smiled and shrugged, "I never got a chance to tell you I was pregnant."

Anakin sat forward slowly, scarce believing what he had heard. "They're mine?"

Padme grinned, putting one of the babies in his arms. "This is Luke, your son." She held the second baby out for him to see, "and this is your daughter, Leia."

xxx

Obi-wan smiled as he watched Anakin hold his son, Padme had done it, she had reached him when no one else could.

Master Vokara Che moved beside him, she smiled as Anakin leaned forward to kiss Leia's forehead. "When did this happen?"

Obi-wan shrugged, "only a few minutes ago." He didn't look at the healer as he watched Anakin, "now that I think of it, none of us tried talking to him.' he glanced at Vokara Che, "we left when he started screaming."

"He was distressed, leaving calmed him."

Obi-wan shook his head, "we looked so hard for him." Every lead had sent him rushing off, every lead had turned up nothing; it had been like chasing after a ghost.

Vokara Che held the small bowl of stew out to him, "go to him."

Obi-wan took a deep breath, "we don't know that he'll let me enter." For all they knew, it was only Padme he would let near him.

"You won't know if you don't try," Vokara Che pushed him forward, "he needs to eat."

Swallowing Obi-wan stepped through the door, "Anakin?" he paused when Anakin's head jerked in his direction, "It's me Anakin." He didn't move, didn't dare to in case his doing so caused Anakin to become distressed again.

Padme smiled and stroked his cheek again, "it's just Obi-wan Ani."

Anakin frowned, staring at Obi-wan through haunted, fear tinged eyes. Taking another deep breath, Obi-wan took a step closer. "I never stopped looking for you."

Anakin licked his lips, still staring at him. Then he smiled faintly, "it really is you."

Obi-wan relaxed, smiling he walked forward and held out the bowl. "Master Vokara Che says you need to eat."

Anakin's stomach growled, he reached out and almost instinctively floated the bowl to his hand. Leia giggled clapping her hands with delight, cocking his head, Anakin suddenly grinned; the pillow on his bed ripped open at a corner and a handful of feathers floated out, they drifted over Leia's head and then floated tanatlisingly close, but just out of her reach.

Leia squealed, laughing as she sat, reaching up for the feathers; little arms waving wildly. Anakin chuckled, spooning a mouthful of stew into his mouth; his stomach growled gain and he began eating ravenously.

He froze as Luke crawled up to him, the baby boy who was almost a toddler, reached up for something to pull himself to his feet; he gripped Anakin's hair. Anakin hissed at the pain as his hair was pulled, memories slammed into him; _lightning struck him from all sides, pain engulfed him as he screamed..._

"It's ok Ani," Padme's voice was soft, as gentle as the hands that cupped his face. "That's it, just calm down..." he heard a baby's frightened, startled squall; his son, Luke.

Breathing shakily, Anakin opened his eyes, instinctively reaching for the momentarily forgotten boy; lifting Luke into his arms, he cuddled him close. "I'm sorry," snuggling his son tight to his chest, Anakin gently rocked him. "don't cry, it's alright." Luke sobbed, still releasing startled cries. Anakin frowned as he remembered the song his mother had sung to him as a child, he didn't notice when he started to sing, holding Luke close in his arms.

xxx

"Come stop your crying, It will be all right. Just take my hand Hold it tight, I will protect you from all around you. I will be here, Don't you cry."

Padme's eyes widened at the softly sung words, Anakin seemed to have forgotten everyone except his crying son; Padme sat back to listen, tears prickling her eyes.

"For one so small, you seem so strong. My arms will hold you, keep you safe and warm. This bond between us Can't be broken. I will be here, Don't you cry..." his chest swelled, and Ankakin's voice rose slightly. "Cause you'll be in my heart, Yes, you'll be in my heart. From this day on, Now and forever more."

Luke's cries stopped and he stared up at Anakin through calm eyes, Anakin's eyes closed as Luke's tiny hand reached up to touch his cheek; tears slid down them as he cried.


	3. Chapter 3

**_TORMENTED RECOVERY_**

**_A year ago Anakin was taken by Dooku while in an attempt to turn him to the darkside; now he finally escapes. But the Anakin who returns isn't same Anakin who was taken. He is frightened, withdrawn; his memory of the last year fragmented, his spirit and soul shattered. _**

**_**_Obi-wan and Padme join forces to help Anakin rediscover the man he used to be; but sometimes things that are broken, cannot be fixed_**._**

**_CHAPTER TWO._**

_Pain tore through him. Agonising, endless pain; he screamed, his head thrown back as he released a terrible howl in response to the continuous agony._

_"You will never be free from me," Dooku's voice echoed in his mind. "You will never escape and no rescue will ever come for you," another burst of lightning; more intense than the last, Anakin thrashed and let lose another tormented scream._

_Dooku laughed, "Did you really think you were safe? That you were free?" he knelt in front of him, Anakin felt hands gripped his chin tightly, forcing him to meet the Sith Lord's eyes. "How many times do I have to show you? You will never be free," he grinned shoving Anakin backwards so that his head slammed painfully against the wall of the cell. "It was all a dream," he sniggered and shook his head, "your escape; it was an illusion."_

_Anakin shook his head, "no." it couldn't be true, surely he would have known, wouldn't he?_

_Dooku laughed again, "your suffering will never end." Lightning shot from his hands, Anakin's body convulsed as he screamed…_

xxxxxx

Obi-wan rushed into Anakin's room at the sound of his terrified screams…

And froze in place; Anakin twitched and writhed on the bed, screaming as though in terrible pain.

Vokara Che was barely a step behind him, she too froze briefly; only for a moment, then she was striding forward, "Anakin, you need to be calm, it is just a dream_"

A flailing kick sent her staggering back.

Rushing forward, Obi-wan tried to hold his friend still. "It's alright Anakin, I promise, you are safe."

His eyes flew open, panicked and filled with doubt; they focused on Obi-wan and Anakin shrieked, shoving him back. "Stay away from me!"

Obi-wan blinked, frowning. "Anakin? I don't understand, what's wrong?"

Anakin scrabbled away from him, pressing himself back into the corner as he fell to his knees. "Go away!" He sobbed, burying his head in his hands.

"Anakin, what's wrong?" Obi-wan knelt in front of him, "you're safe now_"

"No!' Anakin's head snapped up, "stop saying that!" His breathing was fast and erratic as he tried to get away from Obi-wan, "stop it, stop it, stop it!…" He began clawing at his temples, his sobs turning to desperate wails, "get out of my head!"

Obi-wan reached out towards the distraught Jedi, "what's wrong Anakin?"

Anakin's head lifted and he stared at Obi-wan through ghostly eyes, "you're not real!" The next thing he knew, he was flying back; his back cracking against the wall as Anakin continued to sob, his head burried between his knees once more.

xxx

"I don't understand Obi-wan, why can't I see him?" Padme was bristling with frustration, her brown eyes sparking with agitation.

Shaking his head, Obi-wan sighed. "He's had a relapse Padme," Obi-wan's voice was soft, filled with sorrow. "It's bad."

Padme blinked and sat down, moving Luke to her lap while Leia sat contentedly on her hip. "How bad?"

Obi-wan closed his eyes, "he had a nightmare and woke convinced that none of us, none of us, none of this is real."

Padme stared at Obi-wan in shock. Anakin had been doing so well, in just two days he had opened up, he'd been laughing, happy-ish. "How could this happen?"

Obi-wan shook his head, "I wish I knew Padme, it's possible that Dooku got to him, but we don't know" That's what was so frustrating, they didn't know how to help. "i'm sorry, but I can't let you see him. It's too dangerous."

Padme shook her head, "I was able to get through to him before, there's no reason to believe I can't reach him now." _I will not give up on him_, "Please Obi-wan, let me try." She couldn't bare not seeing him, couldn't bare not trying to help him.

Obi-wan closed his eyes and shook his head, "no one is allowed inside the room Padme," he told her gently, "I was the last person to try, he flung me against the wall, he kicked Master Vokara Che_"

"You're saying he's violent?" Padme shook her head, "Anakin would never hurt me." Never in a million years, he'd die before he let any harm come to her.

"He's not in his right mind Padme," Obi-wan shook his head. "I am sorry, but I cannot let you see him."

Padme stared at Obi-wan, her heart pounding with desperate need to see Anakin. She had to do something, she knew that she _could_ help him; knew that he would listen to _her_. But how could she make Obi-wan understand? Her eyes landed on an empty food tray from a parients room, without thinking for even a second, she grabbed it and brought it crashing down on Obi-wan's head. Inside she cronged as he fell, he would not be happy when he came too; but it had been the only way.

xxxxx

Anakin sat in the corner, rocking himself gently as he cried. None if it was real, not his escape, not Obi-wan or the Jedi temple around him; none of it was real. He didn't lok up as the door opened, he cringed at the footsteps that drew near.

"Ani?"

_Padme_, for a monment his heart soared, then he felt soul deep anguish as he remembered; it wasn't real.

"Anakin, please..." Padme's voice was close to tears, "please look at me."

Anakin gritted his teeth and pressed himself further into the corner, _I will not answer. _

"Please, Anakin please." Sobs choked her voice, and a soft hand cupped his face. "Please, just Look. At. Me."

Anakin couldn't resist that voice, not whenshe was so desperate. Lifting his head, Anakin felt his heart break; she looked so real.

She sniffed and stroked his cheek, "Ani, don't do this." She shook her head, "don't believe his lies." Her other hand curled around his left hand - his real hand - "you feel this, Ani?" She smiled and moved closer to him, "this is real." She lifted his hand to her face, "I'm real Anakin, you're here, you escaped."

"No," pulling away Anakin shook his head. "It's a trick! It always a trick, it's never real!" Anakin sobbed and drew his knees to his chest, "why is it never real!"

Padme brushed away tears from Anakin's cheeks and shook her head, "this _is _real Ani." How could she make him believe? How could she make his see the ruth of it? The way he had looked at her when he had first looked up, so lovingly; she'd wanted nothing more than to kiss him...

_I couldn't,_ Padme blinked and cocked her head, it would be the one thing Dooku couldn't know, the one thing he could never replicate. Once again she didn't think, she simple leant forward, gripped his face in her hands and kissed him; kissed him and tried to make him _believe_.

Anakin was too shocked to move as Padme kissed him; his eyes closed and he felt hot tears sliding down his cheeks, this was beyond cruel, this was_

_it feels real,_ Anakin opened his eyes and stared at her; stared into Padme's beautiful brown eyes as she pulled back, the love shining in her eyes, the touch of her hands against his face...

Anakin felt his lips tremble, _his is real. _"Please," he leant forward and pulled her into his arms, "tell me you're here." He sobbed, "tell me you're really here."

Smiling Padme nodded and leant her head back against his chest, "I'm here Ani." Tears filled her eyes and she smiled up at him, "I'm really here."

xxx

"How did she do it?"

Obi-wan winced and rubbed his head, beside him, Vokara Che laughed. "Do you mean how did she blindside you, or how did she help Anakin again?"

Obi-wan sighed and shook his head, "he trusts her."

"He loves her," Vokar Che smiled, "he needs her."

He watched as Padme slowly fed Anakin; the young Jedi was too weak to do it himself, as he watched he knew that Anakin would always need her.


	4. Chapter 4

**_TORMENTED RECOVERY_**

**_A year ago Anakin was taken by Dooku while in an attempt to turn him to the darkside; now he finally escapes. But the Anakin who returns isn't same Anakin who was taken. He is frightened, withdrawn; his memory of the last year fragmented, his spirit and soul shattered. _**

**_**_Obi-wan and Padme join forces to help Anakin rediscover the man he used to be; but sometimes things that are broken, cannot be fixed_**._**

**_CHAPTER THREE._**

Padme was gasping when she found Obi-wan, her mind whirling with worry. "Obi-wan!" He paused and she ran to catch up, "where is he?"

Obi-wan blinked and frowned, "he being Anakin?"

"Of cause!' Padme snarled, "now where is he?"

Obi-wan shook his head, "In his room last I checked." He'd only been able to stay for a short time, but Ankin had been in good spirits. "why?"

Padme's face went white, "he's not there now."

"What?" Obi-wan shook his head, that made no sense; if Anakin had been released, he would have been the first to know. "You're sure?" Even as he asked he knew she was, shaking his head at her infuriated look he sighed, "where could he be?"

xxxxxx

Anakin stood in the middle of his old room, his left hand shaking as he stared around; it was exactly as he'd left it. Breathing deeply, Anakin walked to the cupboard and pulled it open; even his Jedi robes hadn't been touched, there were a dozen robes, all black.

Glancing down at himself, Anakin grimaced; he was a mess, he still wore the rags he'd had on when he'd escaped. Shaking his head Anakin squared his shoulders, they would be the first to go. He fingered the ends of his long, matted hair and gave a disgusted snort; he would have to fix that too.

It had been Obi-wan's isit that had done it, he'd finally, really accepted that he was free. And now he wanted to get back to being who he had been before, he knew he had a long way to go, but he could start slow; a hair cut and a change of clothes would definately help.

"I will not be afraid anymore," taking another deep breath, he took one of his clean Jedi robes and walked into the refresher.

xxxxxx

"When we find him, I'm going to kill him!" Padme was both angry and terrified at the same time, what if he'd had another relapse? What if this time she couldn't help him?

"I don't think that would really be helpful," Obi-wan sighed and rubbed his brow, "I just can't imagine where he could have gone to."

Closing her eyes Padme bit her lip, "Bail can't look after Luke and Leia much longer." he'd been with her when she'd gone to visit Anakin, when she found him gone she'd asked him to watch them while she tried to find Anakin; she would have to go back to her children, "he has a meeting in the4 Senate today." Since Anakin's abduction and Luke and Leia's birth, she'd taken an indefinate leave of absence.

Obi-wan nodded, "go back to the temple of healing, I'll keep looking." He just couldn't think of where Anakin could have gone.

xxxxxx

Anakin smiled his eyes closed, he felt better. Breathing deeply he opened his eyes and looked at himself in the mirror, he looked more like his old self; although his old self had never been so thin, still, with his hair cut to shoulder length and dressed in the black, unmarked Jedi robes, he certainly looked better.

This was the real world he would not be fooled again. Standing straight, he closed his eyes and breathed deeply, sinking into deep meditiation; he tried to calm the fear raging within, began to rebuild his shattered mental shields to protct his mind.

_Lightning flashed out at him, bright blue against the impentrable dark__

Anakin pushed the memory away, _that was then, this is now. _His eyes opened and Anakin smiled, his eyes gleamed with renewed joy; nodding he turned for the door, he was ready - or as ready as he was going to be anyway.

It was time to face the world.

xxx

At first Obi-wan couldn't believe what he was seeing; oh it was Anakin alright, but he looked... Like the Anakin of old; he walked with renewed confidence, his eyes shone with life and joy and hope.

Anakin grinned, laughing as he saw the look on Obi-wan's face. "I'm sorry Master, did I surprise you?"

Sawllowing Obi-wan shrugged and _tried _to regain his composure, "what brought this on?" He guestured at Anakin's 'new' atire, "I was just beggining to get used to the 'decrepid old hermit' look."

Anakin smiled and chuckled, "why Master, this is all your doing." laughing at Obi-wan's stunned expression, Anakin headed back towards the temple of healing, where he was sure he would find padme; after obi-wan's reaction, he couldn't wait to see her face when she saw him.


	5. Chapter 5

_**TORMENTED RECOVERY.**_

_**A year ago Anakin was taken by Dooku while he was rescuing Chancellor Palpatine, in an attempt to turn him to the darkside; now he finally escapes. But the Anakin who returns isn't same Anakin who was taken. He is frightened, withdrawn; his memory of the last year fragmented, his spirit and soul shattered.**_  
><em><strong>Obi-wan and Padme join forces to help Anakin rediscover the man he used to be; but sometimes things that are broken, cannot be fixed.<strong>_

_**CHAPTER FOUR.**_

Padme held Leia in her arms as she stood in the Temple of healing, waiting, hoping here would be news of Anakin soon.

"Padme," Bail smiled at her reassuringly, "I'm sure he's fine-"

Looking at her friend, Padme shook her head, "What if he's not? What if he's had another relapse? What if he's been taken again-"

"Stop," Bail told her, placing his hands on her shoulders... His gaze flicked up, to stare at something over her shoulder. Grinning, Bail spun her around, "He's fine."

Padme gaped in shock, her eyes wide as she stared at Anakin - he looked like his old self - he saw and burst out laughing, his face shining with joy as he strode towards her.

As he stopped in front of her, Anakin grinned, "you look more shocked than Obi-wan."

He grinned down at Leia, lifting her into his arms, "There's my Princess." He said, tickling her, smiling as she squealed with laughter. He smiled at Padme, "I still can't believe she looks just like you."

Smiling, Padme sighed, "you're impossible to stay mad at."

"I know," Anakin smiled at her and sighed, "I didn't mean to scare you."

Swallowing, Padme hugged him. "I was worried," she said quietly, her head resting on his shoulder. Looking up at him, she shook her head, "You disappeared Anakin, I didn't know where you were, if you were alright-"

Anakin cut her off with a gentle kiss, "I'm fine, Padme, I promise."

Luke began squirming in Bail's arms, his arms reaching for Anakin as he let out a desperate cry. Grinning, Anakin passed Leia to Padme as he strode towards the little boy. "Did you think I'd forgotten you?" He asked as he lifted Luke into his arms, his son smiled up at him... And then he let out a delighted squeal, nearly sickening himself with laughter as Anakin held him above his head, spinning him around.

Padme sniffed back tears as she saw the pure joy on Anakin's face as he stared up at his son.

xx

Anakin closed his eyes as he sat in the Council chamber, he'd known the question would come... And he'd been dreading it. Sighing he looked at Master Windu, "I don't know."

"You don't know how Dooku captured you?" The Jedi Master repeated, looking shocked.

Anakin nodded and shook his head, "My memories are fragmented at best." He explained, "If you had told me it had been _ten years_ since my capture, Or if you'd said it had only been _a week_, I would have believed it."

Obi-wan frowned, "you truly have no idea how Dooku caught you when we were rescuing the Chancellor?"

"I don't even remember rescuing the Chancellor," Anakin told him. He'd read the reports, but he couldn't remember any of the mission - not the brief battle in space, or boarding Grievous' ship, or finding the chancellor or his Duel with Dooku that had ended with him 'somehow' being taken prisoner.

"Your last clear memory, what is?"

Looking to Master Yoda, Anakin frowned and shook his head. "Honestly... The Battle of Nelvaan."

"That was over a year ago!" Ahsoka looked both shocked and horrified, as she stared at Anakin.

"You don't remember anything before then?" Master Windu asked quietly.

"Brief flashes," Anakin said quietly, "but not much, no." his voice trembled as he looked at Yoda, Obi-wan, Master Windu and Ahsoka, "I can't shake the feeling that I knew something important..." Shaking his head, Anakin sighed, "But I just can't get at it."

Ahsoka looked at Anakin hopefully, "This feeling wouldn't be good would it?"

"I wish it was, Snips." Anakin shook his head, "Whatever I knew, it's very, very, very, bad."

"Now, how did I know you were going to say that?" Ahsoka sighed, "you really can't remember?"

"Whenever I try to make myself remember anything, all I get a splitting headache..." Looking at Obi-wan, Anakin managed a small smile. "... You see, I told you thinking was bad for you."

Obi-wan chuckled, smiling tightly. "Well, at least your sense of humour is intact."

Anakin's shoulders slumped and he sighed, "That's about the only thing that is."

"Suffered greatly you have," Yoda looked at him sympathetically, "Time to recover, you need to give yourself."


	6. Chapter 6

**_TORMENTED RECOVERY._**

**_A year ago Anakin was taken by Dooku while he was resuing Chancellor Palpatine, in an attempt to turn him to the darkside; now he finally escapes. But the Anakin who returns isn't same Anakin who was taken. He is frightened, withdrawn; his memory of the last year fragmented, his spirit and soul shattered. _**

**_Obi-wan and Padme join forces to help Anakin rediscover the man he used to be; but sometimes things that are broken, cannot be fixed. _**

_**CHAPTER FIVE.**_

"...There's still no sign of Dooku."

The Sith Lord had disappeared, no one had heard or seen anything to give them a clue to his location. Obi-wan looked at Master Yoda and sighed, "I would have thought Dooku would have been doing everything he could to capture Anakin again." Instead, Dooku, for all intents and purposes, vanished off the face of the universe...

Which was troubling. If he had been attacking them, or trying to recapture Anakin, they would have known what he was up to. As it was, all they knew, was that Dooku wasn't simply 'hiding' - the Sith Lord was up to something, and it could hardly bode well for the Republic,

"Use the time we have, wisely, we must." Yoda said quietly, "Whatever Dooku is planning, prepared for it, we must be."

"How can we plan for something, when we don't know what to prepare for?" Ahsoka asked as she frowned, "We can't plan for everything."

"Which is why we are at a distinct disadvantage," Obi-wan shook his head, 'However, we still have a duty-"

" No...!" Anakin's terror filled voice, cut him off. Obi-wan, Yoda and Ahsoka looked at him-

Obi-wan felt his blood run cold. Anakin's face was white, his body shaking with terror. They hadn't even noticed that he had fallen asleep!

"... Please..." Anakin's voice was a desperate plea as he began to sob. "... No... Don't... Please... No!.. No!"

Obi-wan leaped across the Council Chamber, dropping into a crouch in front of him. "Anakin?" reaching out a hand, obi-wan shook Anakin's shoulder. "Anakin, wake up-"

Anakin's eyes snapped open, his metal hand instantly clamping around Obi-wan's throat!

Choking slightly, Obi-wan ignored Ahsoka and Yoda as they leaped to their feet, and grasped Anakin's arm gently, "Anakin. It's Obi-wan..." Staring into Anakin's face, Obi-wan gave his arm a gentle squeeze. "... You need to let me go."

Anakin stared at him blankly, then he blinked, his eyes widening as he jerked away from Obi-wan, releasing him. "Obi-wan, I'm sorry!"

"It's alright, Anakin." Smiling, Obi-wan placed a hand on his shoulder, "I'm fine."

Taking a deep, shuddering breath, Anakin rubbed his hands over his face - surprised, and ashamed, to find his cheeks were wet with tears. Looking away from Obi-wan, Anakin closed his eyes. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright, Anakin..." Obi-wan shook his head. "... I told you, I'm perfectly fine."

"It's not that..." Glancing at Obi-wan, Anakin grimaced, "... You shouldn't have to see me like this."

"Like what?" Obi-wan asked as he frowned with with confusion, not understanding Anakin's meaning.

Anakin's voice was a low whisper as he answered, "... Weak, pathetic."

Obi-wan gaped in shock, "Anakin, you are not weak or pathetic."

"How can you even think that?" Ahsoka stepped forward, "you're the strongest person I know."

Laughing bitterly, Anakin shook his head. Strong? He was weak, pathetic and powerless. "I'm nothing..." He was worthless.

"Think such things, you should not." Yoda's voice was a stern, but gentle rebuke.

Obi-wan looked at Anakin, his eyes still wide with shock at how little Anakin thought of himself. Then he understood, "Dooku told you that, didn't he?"

Anakin nodded slowly, "Everyday." It had always been the same; he was weak, pathetic and useless.

Obi-wan shook his head, "I can't believe you can't see what he was doing."

Anakin closed his eyes, sighing, he shook his head. "Can we just drop it?"

"No," Obi-wan folded his arms, "I can't believe you let him brainwash you!"

"He didn't, I just realised what I've always been." Anakin looked at Obi-wan, "I was a slave-"

"That's never affected you before," Obi-wan said as he shook his head, "You've always been confident."

"That doesn't mean that I actually wa-" Defended Anakin but was interrupted.

"Don't you dare start believing that the things you felt were a lie!" Obi-wan glared at him, "If you let Dooku control the way you feel then he's already won!" Obi-wan's expression softened as Anakin slumped in his seat. He put a hand on his shoulder. "To us, you've always been strong. Just because you were a slave does not mean that you are weak. You survived the life of a slave, and that alone helped to make you who you are."

Anakin's eyes were closed as he nodded, "Weak, cowardly and pathetic." He didn't understand why they were trying to convince him that he was anything else.

Ahsoka stared at Anakin in shock, she'd had never seen her master like this before. She had to make him see the truth, that Dooku had fed him nothing but lies. "If that were true, then why didn't you turn to the darkside?"

Anakin's head lifted, "What?"

Ahsoka shrugged as she looked at Anakin, "If you're so 'weak' and 'cowardly', why didn't you turn?" Anakin gaped at her, but it was obvious that he was trying to think of an answer. Ahsoka beat him to it though. "It's because of who you are, Master. You don't give up once you have your heart set on something. Your stubbornness is what kept you going, or else you would have been dead a long time ago."

Anakin's eyes narrowed, "If I was as _strong _as you say I was, then how is it I was captured, huh?" He wasn't expecting a certain voice to respond to him.

"Because you made a mistake, Ani." Looking towards the chamber door, Anakin saw Padme. "But just because you made a mistake doesn't mean you're weak. We all make mistakes... Look around you, Anakin," She waved her hand across the room, "I'm guessing that every person in this room has made at _least _one mistake in their life." Padme walked up to him, "But that doesn't make them weak, they are strong because they endured," Placing her arms around him, she continued, "just as you have, Ani." Looking into his eyes, Padme took a deep breath. "It wasn't a weak little boy who entered himself in a life threatening Podrace, to help people that he hardly knew... And that same boy, saved an entire planet when he blew up the droid command ship-"

"That was an accident," Anakin whispered as a small smile curled his lips.

"You still saved Naboo, accident or not... besides, if I remember right, that same boy grew up to be a strong man willing to ride a Shaak* just to impress me. Not to mention giving me a scare when you fell and I thought you were hurt." Smiling at him, Padme laid a hand against his cheek. "You are the strongest person I know," she told him, "and that will never change."

Anakin stared into Padme's face, his breath shaking at her faith in him. Then he looked up at Obi-wan and Ahsoka, and saw the same faith and belief in their eyes. "I may not be as strong or as confident as I was, but..." He took a shaky breath, "I suppose that doesn't mean that I can't at least try to be who I was before."

_*If you don't know what a Shaak is, it is the species of creatures that Anakin rode in "Attack of the Clones" on Naboo._


End file.
